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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23758426">Whiskey Flavored Regret</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unusual_Raccoon/pseuds/Unusual_Raccoon'>Unusual_Raccoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago PD (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Cheating, Adam's an idiot, Angst, Drinking, Drunk Kisses, Established Relationship, F/F, Upjas, past Upzek, the unit knows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:14:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23758426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unusual_Raccoon/pseuds/Unusual_Raccoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Keeping secrets comes with a cost, only the keeper of the secret knows the truth.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>A few drinks at Molly's with Halstead and Ruzek turn Hailey's relationship with Vanessa upside down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Vanessa Rojas/Hailey Upton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Whiskey Flavored Regret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hailey smiled against the neck of the beer bottle in her hand, it had been awhile since she grabbed some drinks with the guys and if she was being honest she missed it. Her head tipped back in a laugh as Jay animatedly told a story from his time in Afghanistan, most of his stories from his time there were haunting, but the ones that were positive memories were a joy to hear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Adam lingered to her left, savoring his whiskey, giggling along as Jay continued his story. The energy in Molly’s was buzzing, alight with a slice of the life Chicago had to offer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The only thing that was missing from the perfect night in Hailey’s opinion was Vanessa, but the young officer opted to head back to their place instead of joining them at Molly’s. She and Hailey were still keeping things pretty lowkey, and when Vanessa got even a little bit of booze in her, her hands tended to wander. It was safer this way, if they kept things quiet they could both keep working in intelligence. It was no secret that Hank Voight wasn’t a fan of in-house romances, let alone between a rookie cop and a detective.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Mouse comes over, absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>covered</span>
  </em>
  <span>, head to toe-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No way.” Adam said over a chuckle, leaning his elbows into the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey finished off what was left of her beer as Jay gave a wide boyish grin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, he learned to stop playing with grenades by the latrine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both Hailey and Adam erupted into laughs, Hailey swayed when she felt Ruzek’s weight press into her side. She didn’t mind it though, it was a familiar weight, and informed her that Adam still wore that overpriced cologne he loved.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey watched as Jay reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and a few bills.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to go get us a refill.” Jay announced, tossing a wink at Hailey as he polished off what was left of his own beer before disappearing in the crowd.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With her partner having disappeared, Hailey turned her gaze towards Adam. She snorted as he playfully bumped his hip against hers where he leaned against the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” She asked with a smirk, watching as he took another sip of his whiskey, his eyes creasing at the corners in a smile as he stared back at her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing, I just missed this, missed us all hanging out,” His familiar brown eyes seemed to soften as he stared at her, another sip as he sighed out, “I missed you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey snorted at the thought, it was amusing that he claimed to be missing her, yet they spent everyday at work together. Sure, it wasn’t the way things had been before, but, they wouldn’t be. Not again. She had Vanessa now, and Adam seemed to have moved on...hadn’t he?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her elbow dug into his side playfully, trying to shoo away whatever warmth that smoldering look in his eyes might’ve inspired.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s funny.” Hailey hummed, wishing that she had something to drink to help take her mind off of the awkward direction the conversation had taken. Then he gave a long exhale, a hesitant smile on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, I mean it…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey sucked in a breath, nearly turning to face him fully, he couldn’t be serious. She felt the warm weight of his palm over her wrist, turning to gauge what the hell was going on, Hailey choked on what little air there was in her lungs when Adam leaned forward pressing his lips to hers. His lips were warm, and that spiced scent of his cologne filled her lungs. He tasted like whiskey, bitter and hot on her tongue. God, Vanessa hated whiskey - Holy shit, Vanessa!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quickly realizing what was going on, remembering her girlfriend waiting at home, she reacted. Hailey shoved Adam hard with her hands against his chest, watching as he stumbled back in surprise. Her eyes were wide and her heart was hammering against her ribcage. Her cheeks burned with shame as she stared at her ex in disbelief</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Adam, what the hell is wrong with you?” Hailey hissed, raking a hand through her hair just as Jay reappeared with two more beers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Jay asked, his head tilted towards Hailey placatingly as she tried to swallow the torrent of emotions welling in her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ruze, what’s going on?” Jay asked, a little more concerned by his partner’s frazzled state.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-” Adam stammered, stroking a hand down across his beard pensively, struggling to wrap his head around her reaction.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why the hell did you kiss me?” Hailey asked in a growl, her fingers twisted in her long blonde, pulling at the roots as panic set in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know-” Adam said, finally tearing his gaze away from Hailey when Jay choked on a mouthful of beer in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you what?” Jay asked in disbelief, looking between the two of them. Hailey watched as he took a challenging step towards Adam. While Hailey and Vanessa hadn't been open about their relationship with the rest of the squad, if there was one person who had figured it out, it was her partner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude…” Jay winced at the news.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, Hailey I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable that wasn’t my inten-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey hissed, taking a long drink from the bottle of beer Jay had brought back for her despite the disapproving look she could feel coming from her partner. Really, she didn’t care if he approved or not. She swallowed the rather mellow beer, trying to rid her mouth of the smokey taste of Adam’s whiskey.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not about that, Adam, I’m in a relationship.” Hailey gritted through her teeth, finally slamming the beer down when the taste wasn’t enough to erase the burn of his lips on hers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, what?” Adam asked with a nervous chuckle, glancing at Jay in search of some sort of shared confusion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Hailey, if you were in a relationship you would’ve said something, okay...I mean, if you’re with someone, why didn’t they come out with us for drinks?” Adam continued, only serving to stir that bubbling black guilt festering in the pit of her stomach. Her jaw was tense as Hailey snatched her jacket, fishing out her car keys as she headed for the front door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The cold Chicago air greeted her like a slap to the face as she stepped outside, practically fleeing the bar. Hailey inhaled deeply, trying to quell the anger surging in her like a storm. Dammit, she should’ve never come out for drinks in the first place. She should’ve just gone home with Vanessa. She just wanted to be home with Vanessa.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hailey!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Turning around at the sound of her name, she wasn’t surprised to see Jay, a sympathetic look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need a lecture right now, Jay.” Hailey murmured as she unlocked her car with a click of the key fob.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know?” Hailey asked after a moment, “Did you know Adam was going to pull some shit like this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his credit, Jay didn’t pretend to be stunned by her blunt question, he was used to her by now, “He sounded pretty excited when I told him you were coming along tonight, but I didn’t think he was going to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey gave a long tired sigh, her limbs felt heavy and there was an insistent pressure pounding between her eyes. That anger that had been crackling in her chest was swept away only leaving behind a hot shadow of shame.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to go.” Hailey said in a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa chewed her bottom lip as she glanced at her phone yet again. Setting the device down, she turned her attention to the poorly acted insurance commercial playing on the tv. She told herself she wouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>girlfriend, if Hailey wanted to hang out with some friends from work, Vanessa would give her the space to do that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Would she have rathered the company of her girlfriend over that of the overenthused game show host she spent the evening watching? Of course. But, Hailey was a big girl and Vanessa was too, she had to be able to exist independently from her partner, no matter how badly she wanted her by her side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The brunette jumped in surprise when the front door opened with a bang, and in walked Hailey. A smile pulled across Vanessa’s lips as she slid off the couch and tiptoed over to her girlfriend, who looked a little out of sorts. Throwing her arms around Hailey in a hug, Vanessa paused when she felt that warm familiar body in her arms go stiff as a board. That was when she noticed Hailey’s red rimmed eyes, the barest hint of alcohol on her breath, her shoulders shaking when Vanessa held her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mi amor</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Vanessa hummed, stroking her hand fondly over Hailey’s wild blonde hair, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey’s pretty blue eyes were cast to the floor and she sucked in a shaky breath, like she was on the verge of tears. Vanessa’s hand instinctually began to rub in soothing circles between Hailey’s shoulder blades. Taking her partner’s hand, Hailey didn’t protest as Vanessa led her to the couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reaching up to tenderly cup the blonde’s face, Vanessa watched as a single tear like a shard of glass cut its way down Hailey’s cheek.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hailey,” Vanessa murmured insistently, “Talk to me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hailey licked nervously at her lips, hungrily leaning into the touch Vanessa bestowed upon her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something happened.” Hailey croaked, her voice was thick with emotion...and </span>
  <em>
    <span>shame</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured.” Vanessa said with an encouraging smile, she was dying to know what could’ve possibly made Hailey, </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>strong, incredible Hailey so upset.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-We were out for drinks at Molly’s…” Hailey whispered, her voice was trembling as she paused to take a breath, “And Halstead went to get a refill...and Ruzek </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa felt the smile fall from her face, her mouth twitching into a frown as she stared at her girlfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kissed me.” Hailey said, completing the thought that Vanessa herself struggled to articulate. The blonde gave a heavy sigh, wincing as Vanessa’s hand dropped away from her cheek. The blood in her veins ran cold and she felt her fingers tingle with pins and needles. Vanessa chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to register the information that left Hailey’s lips.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanessa,” Hailey said firmly, despite the tremor of emotion clouding her voice, “I’m so sorry.” Hailey’s hair draped over her shoulders like a snarled curtain of sunlight, covering her face as her head hung low. Her shoulders continued to shake and Vanessa could feel pain bloom in her chest like a poisonous plant. Though she imagined whatever pain she must’ve been feeling was nothing compared to the agony twisting on Hailey’s features. Reaching up with a tender hand Vanessa gently brushed away the silent tears dripping down her cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never meant for anything like this to happen…” Hailey whispered, sniffling as she continued to speak, “You know that, right? I would never want to hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa nodded in understanding as Hailey spoke, stroking over the curve of her cheekbone with the back of her hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Vanessa hummed back as she leaned forward to kiss Hailey’s cheek, the taste of her tears lingering on her lips. Perhaps with any other person Vanessa might’ve been worried about infidelity, but not with Hailey. Not with Hailey, who was unflinchingly loyal, and warm, and loving. Never with Hailey.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So...Ruzek kissed you?” Vanessa asked, her agile fingers soothing the crease in Hailey’s brow that had persisted since she came home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Hailey said, wincing at the memory, “He was under the impression that I was...single.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Vanessa watched as Hailey seemed to steady her breathing, her hands were still shaking as she leaned against the brunette.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, tomorrow morning, I’m going to come clean to Voight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa felt her eyes go wide as she stared at her girlfriend, she certainly appreciated the sentiment of wanting to be open about their relationship with their commander, but it wasn’t so simple. Hailey could be transferred, Vanessa could very well be booted out of the unit, black-balled as some sort of badge bunny for the rest of her career… secrets like theirs didn’t come without consequence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what you’re thinking, but, Ness, someone once told me if I met ‘the one’ on the job that I would have to make it work, and baby, I am going to make us work.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A hesitant smile inched over the brunette’s face, she chewed her bottom lip as an electric warmth crept throughout her body, heating her up from the inside out. She felt dizzy and her smile was radiant as she pulled her girlfriend tighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leaning in gently, Vanessa pressed her lips to Hailey’s savoring the warmth of her kiss and the taste of her. Hailey mewled into the kiss, desperate hands sliding Vanessa’s weight into her lap. Straddling her girlfriend’s hips, Vanessa smiled down at her, humming a happy sound as Hailey pressed a kiss to her palm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you angry with me?” Hailey said in a dreamy, disbelieving whisper against her skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because being angry isn’t going to change what happened...and I know you’re more mad at yourself than I could ever be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa watched as Hailey’s big blue eyes stared up at her, wide and wanting from her spot on the couch. Those pretty blonde eyelashes fluttering as she gazed up lovingly at her partner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon,” the brunette whispered as she laced her fingers with Hailey’s, “Let’s go to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next morning came sooner than they would’ve hoped, but it still came nonetheless. They couldn’t keep hiding their relationship and hope that things would just magically work out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa was itching to hold Hailey’s hand as they climbed the stairs to the intelligence unit, but she wouldn’t push Hailey farther than she was pushing herself at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as they made it to their floor, Vanessa detected Ruzek slinking over like a dog with his between his legs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hailey-” He began, his head tilted in apology, and just the sight of him was enough to stir Vanessa’s blood into something vengeful. While she may not have been angry with Hailey given the circumstances, she was certainly not a fan of Adam at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pulling away from Hailey’s side only long enough to act as a physical barrier between Adam and her girlfriend, Vanessa stood up a little straighter as Adam’s dark eyes stared down at her in confusion. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she stood before him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Came Hank Voight’s raspy growl, thankfully pulling all gazes in the room towards him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh...nothing, boss.” Adam said, wincing at his own poor lie.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hank observed where Vanessa stood nearly toe to toe with Adam, seemingly unconvinced by the paperthin lie that was presented to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Hank asked again, his hands were planted on his hips as he stared at them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-uh, I was going to apologize to Upton.” Adam fessed up finally, and Vanessa turned to watch Hailey’s tight expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sarge, can I talk to you for a minute?” Hailey asked, standing by their sergeant, clearly itching to speak to him privately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a sec,” Hank said a little quieter, having yet to pull his gaze from Adam and Vanessa, “What are you apologizing about?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa watched as Ruzek’s face twisted in what was clearly discomfort, craning his head around to see that every cop in their unit was accounted for...He gave a sigh before answering, “I wanted to apologize for kissing Upton.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their sergeant gave a low hum, nodding his head as he glanced between Vanessa and Hailey who stood off to his side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but Upton’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rojas…” Hank said matter of factly and Vanessa felt her eyes go wide, sharing a surprised look with Hailey.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You knew?” Hailey asked in a low whisper, swallowing as Hank simply nodded and gave an affirmative hum in response, a shadow of a smile lingering on his lips. Of course he knew, Vanessa thought to herself, he was Hank Voight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa turned her gaze back to Ruzek, a ruddy embarrassed blush was creeping down his neck, his Adam's apple bobbed as he stared down at the brunette.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a big boy, Adam, or do you need me to tell you to apologize?” Hank asked, and Vanessa watched as Ruzek really swallowed his tongue. Staring up at him, Vanessa folded her arms across her chest as she awaited his apology.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look,” Ruzek began with a deep exhale, staring earnestly into Vanessa’s eyes, “I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry, if I had known that you and Hailey were together I never would’ve made a move.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa tilted her head as she mulled over his apology, just the thought of him kissing Hailey was enough to make her livid, but she could sympathize with his honest mistake. God, he really was an idiot sometimes. He had made an assumption, based on </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> secret.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Vanessa said simply.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay?” Adam echoed back skeptically.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I accept your apology.” Vanessa clarified simply, watching as Ruzek’s shoulders sagged in relief. He leaned in for a hug, arms wide and Vanessa found herself taking a wide step back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I accept your apology, I didn’t say we were cool like that…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Adam seemed to deflate once more, but Vanessa had done her part, she accepted his apology. That was the best she could offer at the moment. Maybe in a day, or a week, or a month, she would look at Adam and </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to punch him square in the face...but that day wasn’t today.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, now that that’s taken care of, get back to work.” Hank snapped, tossing a wink at the brunette and a knowing nod to Hailey who was just as stunned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanessa risked walking across the room to Hailey, whose hands instinctively found her hips, and for once she didn’t feel like she was breaking any rules. It was oddly liberating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did that really just happen?” Vanessa whispered against Hailey’s cheek, earning a stunned laugh from the blonde.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take the win, baby.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just wanted to make a note here, I do not condone cheating in any way, this fic was just an idea that I wanted to share with my readers.</p>
<p>Also, I struggled a lot writing this fic, it hurt me to hurt Upjas. Another note, I love Adam Ruzek, but as I mentioned I was entertaining the idea of someone accidentally making a move on Hailey, and he's the only dummy I could picture doing it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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